Roll, tide, roll!

I made good on my new years resolution last night and rooted for Alabama to win the national championship :] I know people are going to argue that as a Texan, I should support my state. However, as an AGGIE... I must support anybody except t.u. Sorry, folks!

Speaking of, I'm definitely ready to be up in Aggieland. There's too much tension in my house... ick. I went to lunch with my dad the other day. I can't remember the last time I did anything with him by myself. It was actually pretty good. We didn't talk about my mom or any of the divorce stuff really, so it almost felt just like the good ol' days. He did ask me if I had to keep going to Christ Church (YES.) and put me on a gas limit, but overall it wasn't too bad. My grandparents are caving though. My sisters and I were supposed to have dinner with him tomorrow night for his birthday, but he cancelled to go with his parents instead. I was happy he was talking to them again, until I found out he's taking Brandi. My grandma's been really stubborn, always telling him he can't bring her to any family functions until he's divorced, and that if he did, my grandma would leave. I guess she changed her mind.

It's just so awkward. On one hand, I'm glad they're talking. I mean, he is their son. But on the other hand, they were almost they only people on his side of the family still holding out praying and supporting us and not pretending everything's okay. Plus, it's not like the prodigal son's dad chased after him. He welcomed him home with open arms and forgave him, but he didn't wallow in the pig slop with him. The lines just feel so blurry all the time. I'm never quite sure how I should think or feel. I don't feel comfortable with anything. Except praying... so I'll just keep doing that.

The long-awaited Curtain Call video!

Enjoy :]



"It's About That Walk"- Choreographed by Carolyn Collier

Revelation... 2010 is already looking up :]

My little puppies are cuddling in bed with me as I type this :]

Last night I came to an astounding revelation... I don't hate Brandi anymore. I was saying my prayers and I just had this weird feeling. I kept trying to visualize her face (which is not easy, since I always run away from her before I can get a really good look) and it wasn't even making my blood boil. I've been trying to stay in line with Luke 6 and pray for my enemies and all that good stuff, but I don't think I was really praying FOR her. I was praying about her, and that God would give me peace and get her out of our lives... not really thinking about her. That's changed though. Now, when I think about her, I feel sad. Her life is a mess, and she doesn't seem to have much she can count on. She needs security, but she's not looking for it in the right places. Obviously she wants to have that with my dad, but she doesn't. She's always trying to stifle him with mushy gifts, and they never go anywhere without each other. Even when my dad does things with me and my sisters, his phone is constantly going off. I guess they're afraid they'll cheat on each other. After all, that's the only way they got together. But, that's not my point for this post. My point is, I am learning to hate the sin... not the sinner. Thank you to those of you who have been praying for my family and my dad. I appreciate it so much, but I'd like you to join me in praying for Brandi as well, that she'll find security in God, and He'll work all things out for good.

Welcome, 2010!

I expect great things from you.

I'm not a big resolution maker. The one thing I'm determined to do this year is become a better Aggie! For all you normal people out there, I'm sure that just sounds silly, but I'm missing out on all the fun traditions. I only went to one football game, people! No Midnight Yell... no Silver Taps... no Elephant Walk. Nothin' :[ But, that stops today! This coming semester I WILL bleed maroon!

I'm also going to find a job this semester... not really sure where. I'd love to work in one of the libraries on campus! I really hope that works out, because I don't have a back-up plan otherwise.

I'm starting a Bible reading plan this year. I have a YouVersion Bible app on my iPhone, so I'm going to follow the daily read on there. That way, if I spend the night somewhere and end up without my Bible, I have it all on my phone. No excuses!

I hope to do more blogging this year. Maybe one of these days I'll actually post something worth reading.

Pride and Prejudice: The "Religious" Version

John and I have a new friend. I have several classes with him, and when I introduced him to John they really hit it off. He's a super nice guy, and we all have a lot of fun hanging out together. There's only one thing that gets to me... he calls us religious. He doesn't mean it as an insult, but it still rubs me the wrong way.

I think this is because the word "religious" has gotten so twisted by our society. For example, to me the word "religious" reverberates with all the wrong connotations. It seems to imply all the legalistic and judgmental stereotypes that are so sadly associated with Christians today.

I was listening to a discussion on the radio while I was driving to Navasota this morning. They were talking about the bad reputation Christianity has gotten, and how we as Christians need to find ways to make it more fun. I don't know if "fun" is the word I would choose. It's not as if Christianity is some gingerbread house that we have to lure little, lost children into. I think it is more important to be joyful and genuine, which I unfortunately can't say I've been living up to lately.

I think the saddest part of all is how far Christians as a whole have fallen from the place God intended for us. We are most often identified by our reputation as a condescending, judgmental people who care more about our own prejudices and following a strict set of laws rather than loving unconditionally. This stereotype is even harder to overcome when there are churches passing judgment and tearing each other down, rather than uniting in the common mission of reaching out and bringing glory to God. Jesus said that "all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35). Is that really the way people identify us? Are they able to see light from us and point us out by the love we exhibit? I hate to admit that in my case, I can't be so sure.

I've felt very convicted of this lately, and I have to say that I feel my pride is stealing the spotlight. I've never really considered myself a prideful person, but after listening to Pastor Justin's sermon over Philippians 2 yesterday as I got ready for class, it's been gnawing away at me. I don't quite know how to explain it. It's the kind of pride that prohibits me from making new friends. John's been telling me lately that not everyone will always automatically want to be my friend and that sometimes I need to make the first move and make an effort to talk to them, sit by them, etc. In a pathetic, childish manner, my response has been, "Well if they don't have to come talk to me, why do I have to go talk to them?" Am in 5th grade? Really, Erica? This has been going on for a while now, but I just really felt my eyes opened to it the other day and was disgusted. It reminds me of the song, "This Little Light of Mine." Am I really going to be so proud, and so quick to put walls up to fend off rejection that I'm going to keep my little light under a bushel? I don't think that's a very good idea. Thankfully, I know God is full of grace... but that doesn't do me much good if I'm too proud to ask for it.

I would appreciate prayers in this area. Also, please pray for my new friend. We had a long talk about religion after class yesterday. He's not anti-anything, but he's very bogged down in the legalities of the Christian church. He felt bad because he had wanted to order a beer when we went to lunch (he's legal), but didn't want to offend John and I since we're "religious." I admitted that while I guess I am considered religious because I believe in and love God, it's not the same sense of religion he's grown up around, full of judgment. I told him a little bit about our church and how it's about so much more than abiding by a rule book. He's a musician, so John and I are hoping he'd be interested in coming to church one week to listen to John lead worship. I pray that he'll be able to see past the stereotype and fall in love with our community and our Father just as much as I have.

Eli Young Band rocks my socks off!

Well maybe not literally. My boots did somehow manage to stay on the entire concert, but it was AMAZING! This was my fifth time to see them live, so it wasn't anything too special. Except, oh wait... I MET THEM. AND I could have practically reached out and touched them during the entire concert. It was awesome :] John's uncle was in charge of entertainment at the Austin County Fair, so he hooked me, John, and Enrique up. We did a meet and greet and got autographs, then got to sit in VIP seating at the concert, and actually ended up bumping into them again and getting to talk with them some more afterwards. It was SOOOOOOOOOOO fun!

RIP Teddy :[

My baby's dead :[


My sister ran over him. I'm not mad at her. I know it was an accident. He was really bad about running at/around cars.

She ran over him Tuesday morning. She wasn't even driving like the crazy new driver she is. She was backing out to leave and didn't see him run in front of her when she went to pull out. I had a test that afternoon so no one told me. I appreciate that, especially because I had been studying really hard and actually think I did really, really well on my test. It's just weird to know that everyone else knew and didn't tell me. But again, I'm not mad. I don't feel like they were lying to me. I understand.

My sister called John because she didn't know how to tell me. He (being the knight in shining armor that he is) told her he'd tell me, so he could be in person and comfort me when I inevitably had a meltdown. I appreciate that too.

John and I had been planning "Wednesday fun day!" all week. We didn't really have PLANS. We were just going to get out. Spend some good quality time together. Celebrate being done with our first round of tests. I had been looking forward to it so much all week. John knew that and didn't want to ruin our special time, so he was going to tell me Wednesday night after Bible study. I appreciate that too, and I really wish that was how it would have happened.

Instead, I got an email from my grandma on my way to pick him up for class to get "Wednesday fun day" started. I only read the first line: "My condolences on the loss of your Teddy." I instantly called my mom and then she was forced to break it to me. I was sobbing when I pulled up to get John. My grandma thought they were going to tell me the night before. I'm not mad at her either. It was nice of her to care. Just unfortunate the way it played out. Needless to say, "fun day" wasn't very fun. Especially when we realized at 6:30 that Bible study started at 7 instead of 8 like we'd been thinking, invoking another meltdown. We did end up finding a really good new Mexican food restaurant for dinner at least...

My dad went out and buried him for me today. He even made him a little tombstone. That was nice.

I'm so sad :[ SO sad. And I'm not even that crazy of a pet person. It's just... so sad. I've been blessed enough not to ever really even have to deal with any human deaths before. Just my great-grandparents, but I was pretty young and it wasn't anything traumatic. Plus, Teddy really was my baby. He was my first puppy that was all mine. He was my roommate last year when I lived by myself. I trained him and let him sleep with me every night and loved him so much :[ He didn't even get to have his first birthday.

RIP Teddy. I love you. You were a good dog.