Materialism got the best of me again :[

John's cousin is getting married on Valentine's Day and I was super excited to get a new dress! I figured it was perfectly justifiable because I never have a reason to buy dresses anymore (which is my FAVORITE thing to shop for). Plus, I could wear it to my dance banquet so I would get good use out of it. So, last weekend at the mall (when I was just going to hang out with the boys, "not to shop") I bought a dress. It's really cute and I got it on sale so I was proud of it. But.... now that I'm going through my closet to pack stuff to move back I have 2 dresses that would have been perfectly fine. I think they've both only been worn once themselves. And the one I got isn't even anything special compared to them and it has some pulls on it my mom noticed (gee, maybe that's why it was on sale...). They aren't really noticeable unless you're like holding it up looking for defects, but still. I shouldn't have been greedy. And of course I would realize this on a non-returnable sale item :[ I'm so used to getting new clothes whenever I want and new whatever whenever, but... things aren't the same anymore.



"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. "
1 Peter 3:3-4

I'm going to be the prayer giver!

I don't know if that's technically the right term, but whatever.
Next Saturday we have a big sports booster/alumni banquet and Coach just emailed me and asked me if I would give the prayer. I'm nervous! I've never done anything like that before. I don't think I've ever even done one of the prayers before we go on the field or at small group or anything. But I couldn't think of a reason to say no... besides being scared... which I figure I will just have to get over. I remember this amazing lady I know told me that if we're brave enough to speak to the Creator of EVERYTHING, we should be brave enough to do it in front of people. So I'm going to be brave!

Any tips?
Is it okay to like prepare a prayer?
Oh goodness....

Epiphany.

Lately I've been in a mopey rut. I keep thinking about going back to school, and going back to dance, and not being excited about it at all. It's been making me so sad. Dance was my life all throughout high school. It was all I ever thought about, all I ever wanted to do, all I was ever known for, all that was ever expected of me. I was so confident and ready to take every opportunity with it I could. But I haven't felt that same spark or excitement for it in a lonnnnnnnnnnng time... probably since high school. That's heartbreaking to me.

Now, out of nowhere, I think I've had an epiphany.

I've been so distressed about it and trying to "find the silver lining" or anything to just feel that spark again. But now I'm thinking... maybe I'm not losing my passion. Maybe God is just redirecting it towards Him. Its a possibility, right? I mean, whenever people at work or my family or anyone has asked me if I like it at Blinn my response is always "yeah, but mostly I just LOVE my church." I never even mention dance team anymore. Instead of being upset and feeling like I'm losing this huge part of myself, it kind of makes me feel better now. Obviously I'm going to finish out the semester on the team, but maybe it won't be such a huge loss next year. I have a feeling I'll be growing in new, better ways :]

Humility

I am so over work. I've been back 4 weeks and they STILL haven't reviewed me on register. So, for 4 WEEKS I have been the greeter... not fun. While I was standing around bored waiting for people to "greet" I started flipping through this book on our sale shelf. It's called "Life Overs: Upside-Down Ways to Become More Like Jesus" by Gracie Malone. It's a study over all the different "backwards" aspects of Christianity. (Ex: We must die to live, the last will be the first, we receive when we give, etc.) So I decided for 6 bucks I would give it a shot. I went through a chapter the other night and was very pleasantly surprised.

The first chapter I went through was about Pride. One quote that really caught my attention was "Humility is not having a low opinion of ourselves; it is having an accurate opinion." That seems like such a good point to me. So often we are taught that humility is the opposite of pride. But, if pride is being full of ourselves, then humility would mean we think nothing of ourselves, right? Like, we're worthless. However, this seems just as bad as being proud. When we're proud, we act as if we deserve the glory in our lives, rather than giving it to God. But if we have a "low opinion" of ourselves isn't that just as bad? I mean in a sense, wouldn't that mean we are basically telling God He created us wrong, or "not good enough?" And wouldn't that circle right back around to being proud? I mean, how can we "humbly" tell the Creator of EVERYTHING that He made a mistake in us? To me, that screams arrogance.

I like books that make me think :] I would love some feedback! Hopefully I'll have more "blog worthy" thoughts soon.

1st post of 2009!

It's already the new year and I haven't even done an official Christmas post yet! What a slacker.

John came to Christmas with my family. We both got books for Christmas, so we sat on the porch all night and he drank coffee while I drank hot chocolate and we read our books. It was heavenly :] We took pictures with all the pretty decorations in Fredericksburg on the way back home and took a carriage ride in Johnson City.










I also went to Christmas with his family and they literally showered me with gifts. I was so surprised. They're so sweet and always make me feel so welcome, like I'm already part of the family :]

As far as gifts go, this was the best Christmas I've had in a long time. All my family members who usually give me random gifts that are just... well, random, gave me books. I love books! :] I also have all 7 seasons of Gilmore Girls now. I definitely have more than enough entertainment to last me the rest of the semester. Plus, I actually felt that the gifts I gave were meaningful and appreciated. I got the frame all together for my grandparents and it turned out really beautiful. They were so proud of it. I found a wrought iron wall cross that had frames in it for my mom. It was absolutely perfect. I also made quite a few of Steph's cute little letter blocks and they were a big hit.
My favorite gifts would be my ring from John (NOT an engagement ring! Sorry for the scare Steph ;] ), the iPhone my dad gave me, and I FINALLY got the thing I've wanted every Christmas for my whole life.... A PUPPY! I was sooooooo excited :] My mom got us the teensiest little chihuahua I've ever seen in my life. She's so ugly that she's super cute :] She has HUGE ears and eyes and waddles around like a pig and its just so ridiculous! I love her :] She still doesn't have a name... We thought she was Sophie, and she's been Bitsy the past few days, but nothing really seems right yet.









I spent new years eve and the past few days with John's family. His puppies have gotten big! They're pretty ridiculous too. They remind me of groundhogs, and walruses, and platypuses... platypi? I haven't quite figured that last one out yet...

1st picture of 2009 ♥

I'll be back in Brenham soon! I can't wait to see everyone :]