Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Epiphany.

Lately I've been in a mopey rut. I keep thinking about going back to school, and going back to dance, and not being excited about it at all. It's been making me so sad. Dance was my life all throughout high school. It was all I ever thought about, all I ever wanted to do, all I was ever known for, all that was ever expected of me. I was so confident and ready to take every opportunity with it I could. But I haven't felt that same spark or excitement for it in a lonnnnnnnnnnng time... probably since high school. That's heartbreaking to me.

Now, out of nowhere, I think I've had an epiphany.

I've been so distressed about it and trying to "find the silver lining" or anything to just feel that spark again. But now I'm thinking... maybe I'm not losing my passion. Maybe God is just redirecting it towards Him. Its a possibility, right? I mean, whenever people at work or my family or anyone has asked me if I like it at Blinn my response is always "yeah, but mostly I just LOVE my church." I never even mention dance team anymore. Instead of being upset and feeling like I'm losing this huge part of myself, it kind of makes me feel better now. Obviously I'm going to finish out the semester on the team, but maybe it won't be such a huge loss next year. I have a feeling I'll be growing in new, better ways :]

1 comment:

Amy said...

I think that's definitely a possibility, and a cool way of looking at it. Porbably right on. I need to look at things in my life more in this manner.
Hope all is well!