Last night John, Rob and I gave our testimonies at college bible study. I was nervous, but I actually think it went really well. I wasn't super satisfied with mine. It wasn't bad or anything, I just think I could've done better. I feel like I got all the background knowledge out there, but didn't really get the good points across as strongly as I wanted to. Rob and John were both incredible. They completely blew me away with their open honesty and passion. Plus they both closed with super amazing bible verses. I closed with "So... I guess that's it!" Thanks for the memo guys! :[
I felt kind of disatisfied the rest of the night. I felt like my story had been so shallow compared to the other guys and compared to how I know it really is. When I was doing my prayer time before bed I just kept praying that somehow I had honored God and touched someone with my story. My phone went off while I was praying and when I checked it before I got in bed it was a facebook message from one of my fellow college students. They told me that my testimony had blown them away and hearing me talk about the situation with my parents had made them feel like it was okay to talk about theirs. I shared some words of encouragement I've come by during the past year and a half (my favorite concept is that even if our daddies suck, we have a Father who will NEVER leave us or lie to us) and it was so nice to feel like I was giving someone hope in a situation that I know sucks so bad. God is so good for allowing me to see the good works he is doing through me and for positioning me to help someone I may never have even known I had so much in common with.
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This reminds me of a time last August when I was asked to give my testimony for my church's welcome dinner for new students at UT. I agreed and I remember being super nervous but I also thought I have to be real with this because it can change someone's perspective on life as Christian.
I wasn't expecting 150 people to be there, so I got extra nervous. I CRIED in front of everyone and got snot all over the place but my point got across, the fact that I needed God to get through each day, that I had no other choice or way to live, through the tears that all got through.
A few weeks after that, a young freshman girl came up to me and said "aren't you the one that spoke at the welcome dinner? i really enjoyed what you said and that's what made me keep coming to the church." I was in shock! Who woulda thunk! Ha. I love that it shows how God uses us to spread Himself and how we have to let go of our insecurities and just share.
I'm not sure what happened with your dad, but I'm sure that the Lord is only making you stronger and more faithful for Him. Miss you.
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